If Only
by Storytime-Nightwish
Summary: A re-write of my story 'why' This one is better than my first attempt, in my opinion. Also sort of a way of telling you all that I will be updating my stories again, I'm just not sure when. Rated M just to be safe, as it contains a bit of graphic violence. Hopefully this will help me get over my case of writer's block. Disclaimer: I own nothing.


A/N: Just a little remake of my story 'why'. I sort of wrote this for two reasons; one, I liked the idea and wanted to re-write it, and two, it's one way to show you all that I will definitely continue updating, all I need is a little more time. Thank you for reading, enjoy the story!

Why is this happening?

That was the question which ran through my head countless times, never changing, always repeating. It was the only thing my panicked mind could wrap itself around at the time, as I was slipping down the slimy cavern, as the darkness slowly began to engulf me, as I screamed for my rescue in a seemingly pointless way. It wasn't supposed to be like this, my life wasn't supposed to end like this. I had never wanted to die by the hand of one of these horrifying monsters. I had promised myself that I wouldn't die in battle, that I wouldn't let it all end with me being swallowed hole or smashed or bitten in half or whatever the case may have been with the titans, I had promised myself that I'd get through this alive and that I'd protect Eren and Mikasa with my life. Was this what that was? Perhaps paying the ultimate price was the only way to truly save my two best friends. Even so, human instinct was taking over; I was terrified and I wanted to find a way out. My hands scrambled franticly, trying to find something, anything to hold onto and use to pull myself out of this. All I found was more of the titan's slippery tongue, and the struggling only caused me to slip faster. My life was over, I was sure of it; this was the end of my life, of the life of Armin Alert. I closed my eyes, my hot tears still streaking down my face, and accepted my fate. Though, just then, I felt something grip my arm. I was almost certain I was imagining it, but when I opened my eyes, I saw someone who I don't think I'd ever been so happy to see in my life; Eren Yeager. His face was determined and his eyes flared with his fiery spirit as he gripped my arm with all his might. I composed myself as quickly as I could and returned the favor by helping to lift myself out of my wet trap. As soon as I was out I was sent sprawling onto the ledge of the nearest building, luckily only a few feet away. I looked back to the titan to see Eren holding its mouth open with his legs and one arm, the other arm outstretched to me. I reached for him, but my arms weren't long enough. I cursed my short appendages, knowing that if Eren were to simply jump, the titan would only have to bite down which would immediately break Eren in two. I stood there, completely still, trying to think of a way to help him. I couldn't just let Eren die. Before I could figure it out, he began to speak, and my heart sank at the words he was telling me. He reminded me of when we were just little kids, and how we had dreams of seeing the world that lay beyond the walls, dreams of exploring where no one dared to go, and it wasn't the memories he was giving me that made my heart sink, it was the context in which he used them. He spoke as if knowing these were his last moment alive. His limbs began to shake, finally beginning to give way under the strength of the monster, and in those last seconds he was alive, he said something I will never forget for as long as I live.

"I have to see it, Armin…the outside world." And just like that, the titan's mouth slammed shut. Hot blood sprayed across my face and body as the arm Eren had stretched out to me went flying to an unknown destination. I watched in horror as the giant before me swallowed my friend. There was nothing to hear but a loud ringing in my ears, though I am still certain I was screaming, screaming and crying out at the pain and agony of losing someone I had spent so long around. The blood trickled down my face, mixing in with my tears, staining the once-clean liquid a dark, dirty red. The ground trembled as the titan continued on, leaving me alone, and somehow, in the midst of all that, I could still hear that same question playing over and over and over.

Why is this happening?

Why is this happening?

Why is this happening?

Though, the question soon turned into a continuous denial of '_this isn't happening. This isn't happening. This isn't happening'_. It felt so surreal, though it always does when someone is taken from you. Why would it ever be any different? Maybe it was worse this time. Maybe being covered in his blood and knowing that the monster that killed him was still walking around as jolly as can be intensified it all and made everything harder to bear. But still, to this day, Eren's last words ring in my head.

"_I have to see it, Armin…the outside world._"

And it always repeats with a question formed later on.

"_Why did this happen to us?_"

I will never know a friend as good as Eren, nor a soldier as determined, and I will never be able to share the wonders I can now enjoy with him. And now, as I look out my window into the vast wonders that lie beyond, just waiting to be explored, I imagine how happy Eren would be to see this, and how, if I had never been caught in that titan's mouth, he may be here with me today.

If only…

A/N: Did you enjoy the story? I believe I did rather well, don't you think? I hope you liked it. Just remember, this means that I will update my stories, I just don't know when. Thanks for reading :o) have a wonderful day!


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